some ending thoughts

[saintmagician.livejournal.com]

I read the coldfire books some years ago, and for no reason other than boredom decided to google about them a few weeks ago. It seems these days there's not only a fandom for just about everything, but a slashy fanfiction one to boot. Currently picking my way through trobadora's fanfiction index, which has inspired me to start re-reading the books.

Just finished reading the third book, and i've found the ending to be really quite depressing (something which never occured to me the first time i read the trilogy), and has been bugging me all day. I'm not much of a livejournal user (in fact, i think this has got to be my first post ever), but it seems like this place is the only active/alive coldfire community i could find, so i figured it was worth a try posting here.


Basically, did anyone else here find Damien's actions at the end of the novel REALLY REALLY stupid? I mean...he's donated his own blood, more or less screwed up his faith/role/life in the church, forged the two way bond with the Hunter, for god's sake went to hell to get the guy back...and finally Gerald is human again, and then Damien decides for once he'd just do what Tarrent ordered without argument and leaves the guy alone in a room with his descendant who's trying to kill him?

I'm just...really sort of angry at how it ended. It seems so out of place, for Damein who had gone to hell for Gerald, and risked his life to heal him after his heart attack would just agreey to walk out (when they were so close) and leave Gerald to die at the hand of his own descendant. And he was quite certain Gerald was going to die.

And then Gerald coming back as the youth at the very end was even worse. I think...it would have been almost better (if Gerald had done what the youth said he did) if Gerald in his new life didn't come back to talk to Damien.

I mean, Damien more or less accepted the fact that Gerald was going to die when he walked out on them in the castle. Damein would have gone from thinking Gerald is dead and almost getting over it....to knowing Gerald is still alive in a new life, but that he'll never be able to have anything to do with Gerald (and possibly never see him again).

It would have probably been better if Damein never knew, he'd be able to get over Gerald's death eventually and move on to a new life.

Do you think Damein and Gerald (in his new form) would ever meet up again? Or do you think they'd make an effort to avoid each other? I mean, as long as Gerald wasn't actively connecting himself to his past in 'action or word', he can still keep in contact with Damein can't he?

And what about the bond? It's meant to bind their souls together until death. And technically, Gerald's soul is still alive. It's escaped death again by sacrificing its past identity. So souldn't the bond still be there?

Comments

[ariss-tenoh.livejournal.com]

May I suggest an lj-cut? What you're saying can be considered a spoiler, even if most of us have read the books a dozen times, for the newbies^_^

[saintmagician.livejournal.com]

wow...that was fast. *suddenly feels very much like a newbie*. I think this is my first post to livejournal, so...not really familiar with how this place works. What's a lj-cut?

[ariss-tenoh.livejournal.com]

Oh boy...^_^

It's considered good manners on livejournal to cut long posts.

Here:

put this before your text [lj-cut]

and this at the end of it [/lj-cut]

Just replace the [ ] with < >. Got it?

[ariss-tenoh.livejournal.com]

And I don't want to sound rude but you should really read lj's FAQ. All of it. It'll save you a lot of misunderstandings with other people.

[saintmagician.livejournal.com]

...i was just about to hit the FAQ. But looks like your reply beat it. I'll have a look at their FAQ anyways, but the cuts done.

[kusan-38.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the ending drives me mad as well. I doubt they could ever meet again in any familiar way because Damien IS a big part of Tarrant's past, and associations would automatically happen (but why wasn't that meeting at the end of the third book enough? Both obviously knew eachother). The question of the bond--I don't know how to answer that, because I cannot remember: was the bond between Damien and Tarrant, or just between Damien and the Hunter-part of Tarrant? I'd say it was the former, and that does have curious implications for the ending.

I'm just going to futilely say in commiseration that: that ending depresses me too.

[saintmagician.livejournal.com]

I would have thought, the 'new' Gerald calling Damien by his name would have been enough, since it acknolwedges the fact that he (Gerald) knew who Damien was.

With the bond - no, it was defintely with the human bit of Tarrant. Tarrant specifies that he keeps his human soul. And when the bond is formed, IIRC, he specifically says something about how a bit of his soul will always ben in Damien. So the bond really should have been to the non-hunter part of Tarrant - his human soul. Which is (i'd assume) exactly what he was able to keep when he sacrificed his identity and past to start a new life.

The ending just seems so...ironically twisted in every way. Gerald finally gets a new chance at a human life, but at the cost of never really being able to contact the one responsible for it again.

[carmentalis.livejournal.com]

That ending had me almost ready to throw the book out the window. I could accept the Mount Shaitan sacrifice, since it would have made for a great closing scene and a fitting end for Gerald. I was happy to see that he was alive, and human, and still snarky as hell, and I'd have loved for him and Damien to just head off into the sunset together like that and keep saving the world. Even with the showdown at the Keep, I could have gone with it if only Damien had stayed. He picked a terrible time to suddenly start obeying Gerald, especially when he knew how it was going to end. It is out of character for him, as you said. Completely so. He abandoned Gerald, when he literally went to hell for him before(and that wasn't only because he needed him and his power).

It would have been far more fitting if Damien had dragged him away somewhere to keep that new soul safe and on the road to redemption.

I can see them meeting up again. Gerald doesn't let go easily, and Damien's been fascinating him for a while. Also, this is the one person he knows he can rely on, so if he needs any assistance Damien would be the one to go to. They'll just have to be careful about conversation topics so Gerald doesn't go up in smoke.

Sad, depressing ending. Which is where all those fix-it fics came in...

[carmentalis.livejournal.com]

Forgot to say: welcome to the comm! It's great to have new members, especially when they bring discussion topics. :-)

[prettyarbitrary.livejournal.com]

Heya, new person!

Yeah, I think that ending drives us all a bit batty. I was furious the first time I read it. The second time, I was depressed. Several years and two termpapers later, I've come to some kind of vague acceptance. ^_^

All through the third book, I had this horrible feeling like she was writing herself into a corner. I couldn't imagine how she could possibly end it in any satisfying way...and, as it turned out, she didn't. There's a certain poignancy to the ending we got, but it just doesn't make sense. I can understand why, having his new identity and all, Tarrant would show up like that, explain, and then walk off. I can understand why Damien would let him go. For all his merits, Damien's presence around Tarrant after that would just be dangerous, and even in that brief encounter, he comes close to potentially blowing it for Gerald at least twice.

What I can't buy, as you said, is that he would leave Gerald alone in the room with Andrys. Okay, so the man's got enough shots to do for them both. Damien doesn't want to shoot the guy, and Gerald doesn't want him to. But, and not that I want Damien to die, but it would've been totally in character for him to just bull-rush Andrys and take both hits, if necessary.

[winter]

Let's just say that there's a reason every writer in the fandom writes their own version of "this is how it really happened" ;)

Both endings - leaving Gerald in a room with Andrys and letting Gerald leave at the end - are only in-character if you accept that Gerald was brainwashing Damien into it.

Oh, and welcome to the comm :)

[ariss-tenoh.livejournal.com]

As Beth pointed out, this why we're all writing fix-it fics^_~

*has written 5 versions already*

[blackletter]

Someone much more perceptive than me (I'm afraid I can't remember who it was) also pointed out that the ending is not very satisfactory because after all that talk of redemption (three books of it, really), at the end of it Gerald still hasn't changed. He's still putting his own survival over his friendship with Damien. And so, as a reader, I'm left with the sense of *what was the point*!

So Damien just wandering off to leave Gerald to die is emotionally unsatifying (and out-of-character). And then Gerald just saying "it's been fun; so long; don't contact me" to the person who *saved him from hell* is incredibly unsatifying.

(And yes, when I first read the books about a decade ago, back before I even knew what fanfiction was, I promptly wrote my own version of the ending.)

[saintmagician.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the welcomes =)

I had this horrible feeling like she was writing herself into a corner

Yeah...that's the feeling i had too. It seems almost...as if she was fighting with herself about whether or not to kill Gerald.

It was as if...she didn't want to kill him because he was such a great character. But at the same time, he was really evil and she probably thought just leaving him to walk off and live at the end would send out the wrong message?

So she finally decides on a compromise that IMO is worse than just simply killing him or letting him live.

He's still putting his own survival over his friendship with Damien.

That's so true. At the end, it was still his own survival and him wanting to go on and safe his books and continue his whole "taking humanity back to the stars"

I have to wonder though...exactly what will Gerald do with the rest of his (new) life?

how far the whole "he can't connect to his past in word or action" extends. Obviously, he can't go around claiming to know people who he knew in the past, but what about his research? His study? Support for the church of his descendants?

He spent his whole life (the first one) building the church. Then 900 years of un-life researching on demons/fae/science. I would imagine in his new life, he'd be taking advantage of the fact that science can now advance and his dream of taking humanity back to the stars may finally come to fruit.

But wouldn't pursuing either of those things damn him? Since it's connecting him to the past in "action", after all...if he's going to continue his research and his study and his dream of humans going back into space, he's connecting himself to the Hunter who spent 900 years doing exactly that in the forrest.

So other than that...exactly what will Gerald do with his life? He isn't exactly going to go off and be a saint/seek-redemption without Damien around.

[carmentalis.livejournal.com]

Since it's connecting him to the past in "action", after all...if he's going to continue his research and his study and his dream of humans going back into space, he's connecting himself to the Hunter who spent 900 years doing exactly that in the forrest.

I hadn't thought of that before. It makes sense, though. And I think that if letting go of all his research and dreams is the price to pay for survival, then it might just be enough to break him.

And I just successfully bunnied myself. *headdesk* Like there aren't enough fics to be written!

[saintmagician.livejournal.com]

And I think that if letting go of all his research and dreams is the price to pay for survival, then it might just be enough to break him.

Which means he probably doesn't (need to let go of all his research and dreams). *sigh* So he can pull of his sacrifice and survive and still do his research and all, why couldn't he have thought of a way to do his sacrifice and survive and still be able to contact Damien...

[carmentalis.livejournal.com]

If you interpret the book ending strictly, then it is a matter of whether Damien has to be considered a part of his old life or whether there is a way for them to make a fresh start (which, considering the baggage between them, probably would be a good thing anyway).

If you twist things a bit and are more liberal in the interpretation, then you might say that he sacrificed the Hunter, but kept all the rest. Which would let him continue right at where his old life stopped, with all the research he did before, and possibly also with all the people who didn'T see him exclusively as the Hunter.